DATE: 11/15/2003 04:48:00 PM
I think Rebecca speaks for all of us when she says...
Hi, first time writer, long time eater. Those rolls made out of pizza dough? Incredible. But Im afraid this isn't about your pizza, food nor your service, no. No, it's not. It's about that commercial of yours that you cannot stop playing. You may remember it, it goes a little something like this: "More mozzarella, Ella. More rigatoni, Tony." And so on. And on and on and on! Nice rhymes, by the way. Really working that name book. Isn't it time to retire the jingle? Please? OH GOD, PLEASE! I have been finding myself biting the heads off of kittens and spitting the bloody craniums into the corner of my apartment for each time I hear that damn jingle coming from my innocent television set.
I cannot breathe just thinking about it. That's how angry it makes me, and millions like me. Do you think that there is only one of me out there? No, there are millions. Millions who hate you more and more each and every damn fucking day, Bertucci's. Think about it. I know that everyone has a commercial out there that they just hate, may it be for pizza, how ugly someone looks, or perhaps it's the lighting if you are really picky. Well your jingle sends me off to sharpen the knives and go hunting for defenseless animals. Isn't it time to make it go away? Make it a historical moment in the pizza business? I think so. You know what you need? One of those Little Caesar's commercials. Those were funny and never ever annoying.
God I hate a chain restaurant with a bad jingle because you can never ever escape. It's on the radio, it's on the tv, it's all around you like a giant pillow held over your poor little face by the Jolly Green Giant smothering you with someone else's drool all over the case. Please, Bertucci's, enough is enough. All bad jingles should self destruct after one month. Done and done. Make it go away? Pretty please? With a black olive on top?
Plugging my ears with cheese,