DATE: 12/04/2003 12:20:00 PM
Steve the engineer to me: How can you tell when a Ukrainian is at a cockfight?
Alex the engineer to Steve: Hey.
Steve to me: Alex is Ukrainian, you see.
Me: I see.
Steve to me: So, do you know how you can tell when a Ukranian is at a cockfight?
Me: No, how?
Steve: He's the one with the duck.
Steve: How can you tell when an Italian is at a cockfight?
Me: I don't know, how?
Steve: He's the one betting on the duck.
Steve: How can you tell when the mafia's at the cockfight.
Me: The duck wins.
Steve: That's right! How'd you know??!?!?!
A little while later...
Steve: Three actors are auditioning to play musical composers in movies about their lives. The first audition is to play Mozart. Jean-Claude Van Damme says, "He was Austrian, I am Belgian, it's almost the same thing. I'll take him." The second audition is for Wagner. Sylvester Stallone says "Oh, I want this guy. I like his strong martial music." And then Arnold Schwarzenegger, who's the last one left, says "I'll be Bach."
Alex the Ukrainian: Wait, I don't get it.