DATE: 3/29/2004 10:06:00 AM
Hi. My name is Beth. And this will be your rant for today.
Here's what I think. I think it's totall bullshit that a genius movie like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is flopping at the box office just like most other genius movies like Fight Club and Arlington Road because people are too stupid and lazy to try and comprehend something that isn't spoon-fed to them by Angelina Jolie. I think it's bullshit that the American movie industry in all its power and glory only manages to hand down a smart movie like this once every three to four years, and I think it's even worse that they only reason that's the case is because that's as often as we want them to. I think it's bullshit that people are going to go waste their time, energy and money on a movie like Torque when something that could change their life is playing in the next theater, but they don't want their life changed, they don't want to be introspective, because that might make them wake up and realize that the economy is in recession, that a non-elected President has us engaged in a useless foreign war and that the entire world will go completely to hell if we don't wake up and start thinking about doing something. But that's too hard so they go to the latest Jean-Claude van Damme offering and eat their Milky Ways. Even The Matrix: Reloaded was too much for them to grasp, for Chrissakes. So some poetic soul somewhere puts together a movie like Eternal Sunshine, and the 5% of us who feel like thinking go to see it and are profoundly moved, and the rest file like the lowing herd of sheep they are to see whatever drivel Vin Diesel has pumped out this season. Look, there's nothing wrong with a little mindless action every now and again, but on a steady diet of it I think not a one of the American media machine has the right to criticize me for feeding my body MacDonald's cheeseburgers when that's all anyone feeds their mind. Why are we funneling millions into StairMasters and gym memberships and Atkins-friendly diet foods and obsessing about our physical health and strength and appearance but just letting our minds go completely to seed, because that's obviously not important. There's also nothing wrong with physical health, but why are we walking around looking at all these supposed temples to the soul that are ornate and beautiful and empty? Unless, of course, it can be filed under the heading of good Christian values, in which case people seem to be willing to abide by any kind of violence or horror or thought-provoking ugliness. Janet Jackson will soon be executed publicly on CNN for flashing a nipple during the Super Bowl, and anyone who says "hell" instead of "heck" will follow now, apparently, because we as a nation are traumatized after that vulgarity, but meanwhile people are praising the SADISTIC Passion of the Christ when they won't even tolerate fucking TELETUBBIES because one of them MIGHT be gay, and you can forget about an intelligent, yet violent and--kiss of death--NONCHRISTIAN movie...and MEANWHILE the fucking FCC!!!!! Banning free speech because of "INDECENCY" WHILE CHRISTIANS GO TO WATCH A MAN BE FLOGGED AND CRUCIFIED IN VIVID COLOR! JANET JACKSON'S FUCKING NIPPLE APPARENTLY MEANS ALL *MY* FAVORITE SHOWS HAVE TO BE FUCKING CENSORED AND THE FIRST AMENDMENT NULLIFIED...UNLESS OF COURSE IT'S GOT SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE FUCKING BIBLE!!! NO, SHUT UP!!! I CAN'T CALM DOWN! I HAVE RAGE! I NEED TO GET IT OUT THERE BEFORE THE ATTORNEY GENERAL COMES TO TAKE ME AWAY! I mean FUCK it makes me SO MAD! Look. Try to get your head unstuck from your Bible-quoting rectum and understand. The problem is the same fundies who greedily drink down the blood of Passion are at the same time trying to tell ME what should / shouldn't offend me. And, to get back to my earlier point, as I see it, the fact that a drooling, deliriously idiotic American audience that has no problem with the hypocritical, anti-Semitic violence of Passion of the Christ while they object to thinking movies like Seven and Fight Club based on their *non-religious* violence, who came up to me at the box office of the movie theater when I worked there to return tickets to The Blair Witch Project because they "didn't get it" yet bought tickets like they were going out of style for Mighty Joe Young and The Rugrats Movie is staying away from Eternal Sunshine is proof that it's a brilliant movie that will then, necessarily, limp along in theaters for another three weeks and enjoy lukewarm DVD sales even as Ashcroft orders that theaters permanently run Passion forever, on an hourly basis, for the edification of all, and goddammit sometimes I just hate this whole country.