AUTHOR: Beth TITLE: DATE: 7/30/2004 10:07:00 AM ----- BODY:

Munchausen Syndrome

I have a toothache. Or more like a gum-ache. Not sure what the problem is but the tissue around my left lower wisdom tooth, way in the back, is raw, and it hurts, and holding my jaw in an unusual position to keep from aggravating it has made my whole face hurt, and worst of all, my company doesn't offer dental insurance. Luckily, however, this gives me something to worry about. I'm obviously not happy otherwise. Last night it even came down to Steve shining a flashlight in my mouth to see if he could find anything unusual. Negatory. Ain't we got fun? In the meantime, I've tried gargling with salt water, Listerining it into submission, flossing aggressively, and, of course, worrying at it every chance I get with the tip of my tongue. Still hurts. In fact, it hurts more. Hmm. Why do you suppose that is? I've come to the conclusion that I either have an abcessed wisdom tooth, which will require oral surgery to remove, wiping out my savings account for the anaesthesia alone, or mouth cancer. Of course, the other day I was convinced I had Type II Diabetes, and a few weeks ago I was absolutely certain I had colon cancer. In the past I have been convinced I had a brain tumor, herpes, and congestive heart failure. For whatever reason, worrying about having some rare tropical illness comforts me. Having a mouth sore to worry at or thinking I have a tumor when it's really just a zit is something I obviously enjoy, probably because it takes my mind off my real problems. So if I ever come to you convinced I'm infected with Ebola and / or dying, basically you should ask, "What's really wrong, Beth?" Or maybe you shouldn't, because I might freak out. It's a scary place, my head.