AUTHOR: Beth TITLE: ...Continued DATE: 11/24/2004 07:39:00 PM ----- BODY:
Me: did you know meryn cadell is a transsexual? Tim: i did not Me: yep Me: hang on Me: Me: that's how i found out Tim: hmm Tim: interesting Me: weird huh Tim: mm Me: cause i had one of her songs in my head today so i went to blog about it Me: and i wanted to put a link w/ her name b/c not a lot of ppl know who she is and her site has links to info about her CDs Me: and also her LJ Tim: cool Me: which has the info that she's "transitioning" to be a man Tim: wow Me: right Me: which pissed me off Me: strangely enough Me: i mean it really disappointed me Tim: hmm Tim: well she seems to be known as a woman now Me: yeah Tim: seems odd to change over to a man now Me: it made me mad because she's always seemed like a very feminist person, someone who is a strong, intelligent female figure and who talks alot about the female experience in her songs Me: and for her to become a man it's like she's sort of giving up Tim: yeah Me: i know that's not what it's about but i feel like she's sort of snubbing womanhood Me: i'd be similarly pissed if ani became a man Me: actually probably more so Me: because what does that say, you know? Tim: right Me: oh well Me: i thought you'd find that interesting since you're the one who listens to her stuff in the first place Tim: of course I'm a chick in a man suite Tim: luckily I'm a lesbian Me: right but is that really feeling like you should be a woman, or because you have certain personality traits that society tells you are inherently female? Tim: the society one Me: just like does the fact that i'm a dominant and competitive personality make me male? Me: that's why it touches a nerve with me, i think Tim: it's all about labels Me: i think the more strong women and sensitive men there are, the less you'll get reprimanded according to your gender b/c of your behavior Me: but the answer to me is NOT to become the other gender Me: it's almost like affirming society's divisions to me Tim: i agree Me: but i know that's not how meryn cadell thinks of it at all--she said as much Tim: we are different, but that doesn't mean we can't share traits Tim: we both breathe after all Me: but people like her and ani and tori etc. make me feel validated that you CAN be powerful and be female and feminine Me: lol yeah Me: or at least, she DID Me: because now apparently she's on the other side of whatever dichotomy Me: i don't know Me: i'm being judgemental and self-centered looking at this but i can't help it Tim: yeah but techinically she wasn't really either Me: maybe i misinterpreted her from the beginning though Tim: but it does seem odd she would lean towards becoming male based on what she sings about Me: right Me: i think she's always been with women though Me: sexually Tim: then again maybe she thinks that a male singing about woman in that way would have a better or atleast different effect Me: although it's easier to be a lesbian right now than to be transgendered Tim: true Me: the way she explained it is: Me: The largest shift is the just the grokking- for me and for those who know me - that gender is truly fluid. Once I was past that, this transition has been simple in the extreme. I just feel more like me. Small shifts in my self create one whole and happy person. Makes me think of optometry tests where the doctor shows you several blurry and separate objects on the screen and asks you to indicate when they resolve. Slowly, lenses turn, clicks are heard, and then aahhhh: one solid image. This is me. Tim: hmm Tim: well whatever she does it's her decision and I guess she feels she is making the best decision for herself Me: so, ok, i guess... Me: right Me: i totally agree with that Tim: but I guess I should stop calling her...well...her Me: but from my position viewing her as an abstract being, someone who had inspired me as a woman, it makes me feel sort of abandoned in a way Me: i know, but i can't Me: because i'm talking about her when she was a her anyway Me: as in the her that's gone now Me: although i suppose she argues she's not gone Tim: man or woman it's still her Me: her basic argument there seems to be that gender doesn't determine a person Me: right but i disagree with that Tim: it's still the same person Me: i think gender informs everything Me: and gender is the context for everything Me: i dunno Me: it's weird how i'm so intense about this Tim: the person is the same...the perception of the person has changed Me: it's not like she's as important to me as tori or ani Me: do you really think it's the same though? Tim: as a person who doesn't give a whole lot of credence to coporial form..yeah it's the it's the same being...just in a different wrapper Me: right but it's not like you're going to become a woman...why stay the same gender then? Tim: you take a hershey bar and put it in a kitkat wrapper, but it's still a hershey bar Tim: but the world will believe it has to be a kitkat bar cause it's in that wrapper Me: i see Me: that's a good analogy Tim: thanks:-) Me: but it's not the same though--a hershey is a hershey and a kitkat is a kitkat Tim: but many believe that a man is a man and a woman is a woman Me: right...i believe that too Me: i believe that a hershey bar can be in a kitkat wrapper Me: by mistake kinda Tim: it's a wrapper..we are not the wrappers we come in, but we as well as everyone else will bind ourselves to it Me: i dunno, i think you're either or Me: i mean, kitkats have that crunchy stuff in the middle Me: it's a whole different thing Tim: but in the end we are all the same....dead Me: mmm and i want chocolate now Tim: hehe...ok Me: lol Me: how profound Tim: so do the differences really matter all the much while we are here? Tim: maybe...maybe not...not a topic that will be solved this evening I'm afraid