DATE: 11/05/2004 01:27:00 PM
Go cover this exhibit opening, my editor said. Okay, I said. It's from 6 to 8 pm at the Middlesex Community College building, he said. Okay, I said.
What he didn't say was that it was a semi-formal affair complete with wine, cheese and politicians. Due to the fact that any and all parking around the area was reserved for the "special people", I also had to walk about a half mile through the downpour to get into the plush marble lobby of the Middlesex Community College building which definitely did not look how I expected it to look. How I expected it to look was essentially how Chris Rock once described community college: a disco with books.
The building was nicer than any I ever saw at UMass. The suits were nicer than any I ever saw at UMass. The wine was probably finer. The lackeys looked unhappier. That's always a tip-off.
I was wearing my brown tweed pants and brown loafers, a long-sleeved red t-shirt and my blue fleece that says PATRIOTS across the front. My hair was shoved into a rude ponytail, and a toxic combination of grease and acid rain were dripping from it when I finally staggered into that marble lobby.
Eventually I found myself face to face with a grey-suited member of the United States House of Representatives, attempting to remain dignified while thinking, "He is a member of Congress. You are wearing your PATRIOTS fleece, your pants are soaked to the knees, and there is a ketchup stain on said fleece."
I mean, if I'd known, I at least would have showered that morning.