AUTHOR: Beth TITLE: Message from Dad DATE: 12/14/2004 10:46:00 PM ----- BODY:
My Dad emailed this to me, and I know you've probably all seen it before, and copying and pasting an email forward is a poor excuse for a blog of this actually made me laugh out loud in recognition (they are in bold). There are also a few things (*ahem*) crossed out.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MASSACHUSETTS IF..... 1. You think crosswalks are for wimps 2. You think if someone's nice to you they either want something or they are from out of town and lost 3. You know how to cross four lanes of traffic in five seconds 4. You're amazed when traveling out of town that people at McDonalds actually speak English 5. You think it's not actually tailgating unless you're touching the bumper of the car in front of you 6. You know that a yellow light means that at least five more people can get through and a red one means two more can 7. The transportation system is known as the "T" 8. You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your house 9. Subway is a fast food place 10. There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within 15 minutes of your house 11. When people talk about "The Curse Of The Bambino" you know what they're talking about and believe it too 12. You believe using your turn signals gives away your plan to the enemy 13. If you stay on the same road long enough it eventually has three different names 14. Someone has honked at you because you didn't peel out the second the light turned green 15. You have honked at someone because they didn't peel out the second the light turned green 16. All the potholes just add to the excitement of driving Uh, I think not. 17. Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only of you want to 18. Six inches of snow is considered a dusting 19. Three days of 90 degree heat is definitely a "heat wave;" 63 degrees in "on the warm side" I am genuinely confused by this one...that's not true? No, seriously? 20. You cringe every time you hear some actor/actress imitate the "Boston Accent" on TV or in a movie; if you don't have it, then you're never going to get it even if you were born here 21. At the ice cream shop you call chocolate sprinkles "jimmies" 22. You can go from one side of town to the other in less than fifteen minutes and see at least fifteen losers you went to high school with doing the same thing they were doing when you saw them last OH MY GOD.... 23. The person in front of you is going 70 MPH and you're cursing them for going too slow 24. You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Haverhill, and Cotuit 25. You know what they sell at a "packie" 26. You have never been to Cheers 27. You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater 28. You still try to order curly fries from Burger King 29. You keep an ice scraper in your car all year round 30. You know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie, and a Frank 31. Paranoia sets in when you can't see an ATM or CVS 32. You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left 33. You've bragged about saving money at The Christmas Tree Shop soccer moms like The Christmas Tree Shop... 34. You know what "regular coffee" is 35. You can navigate a rotary without a problem 36. You have been to Fenway Park Well DUH 37. You refer to the New York Yankees as the devil More refer to the Devil as the New York Yankees 38. You feel the rest of the world needs to drive more like you Well DUH 39. When someone calls you a "masshole" you take it as a compliment 40. You use the words "wicked" and "good" in the same sentence 41. You know what a frappe is 42. Saint Patrick's Day is your second favorite holiday 43. You are proud to drink Sam Adams and think that the rest of the country owes Bostonians a thank you Not a huge beer drinker...but I think that the rest of the country owes Bostonians a thank you, just because. 44. You never say "Cape Cod" you say "the cape" 45. You went to Old Sturbridge Village and Plymouth Plantation in elementary school 46. You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day 47. You have a special place in your heart for the Worcester Firefighters 48. You know the Mass Pike is some strange weather dividing line 49. You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you off when you cut them off or steal their parking space 50. You actually get all the jokes and pass them on! Hurr HURR!! Okay, technically the blog is passing them on, I guess, but this is cheap...they should've included something real for #50 instead of gypping us... Hey, I know! 50. You can always find something to complain about.