AUTHOR: Beth TITLE: While Everyone's Lost, the Battle Is Won DATE: 12/03/2004 09:56:00 AM ----- BODY:
I seriously, seriously considered calling in today. At one point I even had the phone in my hand, ready to dial. But somehow, with the calm of an automaton, I got up, got dressed, threw my hair up, brushed the teeth, slung on my jacket and I was in my car on my way to work before I could give it a second thought. I wasn't really sick, of course. So the conversation in my head went something like this:
The scene: In my apartment, the phone in my hand. Stephen is behind me asleep on his side of the bed.
ME
Oh, yeah, 'cause you'll be the first person in history to call in sick when she wasn't really sick. Come on. Ever hear of a "mental health day?"
MYSELF
You have a point. But I still can't do it.
ME
Come on. You know that whenever it is, the moment you die your biggest regret will be that you didn't enjoy more of life, that you spent too much time working.
MYSELF
Again, you have a point. But remember when [coworker] came in with double walking pneumonia? Remember when [other coworker] was sick as a dog and the most he did was come in "late" (read: 9 am) some days?
ME
Look. You have sick days. [HR lady] sent an email around just recently saying you either use your time off or you lose it. It's December. When's the last time you were out sick? April? March?
MYSELF
It doesn't matter. I know I'm not sick.
ME
Dude, are you dense? That's not the point. The point is, you don't owe these people anything. Who are they to tell you whether you can come to work or not? I think you just need to take some time and smell the friggin' roses, man. Look at Steve all cuddled up in the sheet. Doesn't he look so warm and fuzzy? He doesn't have to work today. Think about it. You could lie back down and fall asleep holding his hand. You could get up together later and go out for brunch. You could spend a whole wonderful day together. Instead, Miss Goody Two Shoes over here wants to go to work. Why?!? You only live once, honey. It's high time you realized that.
MYSELF
Right, it would be nice to spend the day with Steve instead of working. But it wouldn't be so nice when I come in Monday and wonder if my coworkers hate me (even more) now because they know I'm not sick, I know I'm not sick, and I blew them off.
ME
Dude, you still don't get it. Who cares what those assholes think of you? It's obvious being a good little busy bee hasn't impressed them. So why bother. Come on, live a little. Who's gonna know?
MYSELF
(Quietly) I will.
ME
Oh, don't bring her up.
MYSELF
(Walking out the door) Look. It's just not in me, okay?
ME
Whatever. Don't come cryin' to me later when you're pissed off, that's all.
MYSELF
Well, whatever.
ME
(Mimicking) 'Whatever'...(Bitterly) Go fuck yourself.
MYSELF
Oh, real nice. (Sighing) You know, I think it's high time we get back to therapy.
ME
(About to explode) Just go to work.
MYSELF
Okay!
ME
OKAY!
MYSELF
OKAY!
ME
FINE!
MYSELF
(Screaming) FINE!!! (The door slams)
***FIN.***
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