TITLE: Just Makes Me Want to Offend Someone
DATE: 1/26/2005 04:24:00 PM
Budweiser has been asked to pull an ad "that would have poked fun at last year's infamous "wardrobe malfunction" that exposed Janet Jackson's breast during the halftime show," according to CNN (via Jabber).
"Why take the risk? All you need is one person to be offended," Bob Lachky, an Anheuser-Busch vice president, told the newspaper. "Some people don't want to be reminded of the incident."
It should also be mentioned that this week's Onion (hooray for it being free again!) has an excellent take on "the incident":
"By the time CBS cut to an aerial view of the stadium, the damage was done," said Wasserbaum, who has also worked extensively with orphaned and amputee children in Third World war zones. "I've found that children can be amazingly resilient, but this event was too much for many of them to take. The horrible image of that breast is likely to haunt them for the rest of their lives."
How fucked up is the world when Budweiser pulls a commercial because one of about five self-righteous fuckwads who were "traumatized" by the "wardrobe malfunction" might be "offended", but millions of people can protest, say, a war, across the globe, and that still happens? Who decides when people being "offended" is important? Why are there such contradictions about that toward which we must be culturally sensitive?
Example? Howard Stern is fined repeatedly for saying words like "anal" and "nipple". Meanwhile, on WEEI's Big O Show (which could be a euphamism in and of itself), host Glenn Ordway is often called "Nipple Man", complete with a musical sound effect played by the producer, after a caller noticed he had SNE during a TV appearance.
Fined? Not a chance. Heckled? Prosecuted? Criticized? Nope.
Howard Stern, though. He's the root of all evil. Sigh.
Anway, where was I. Oh yes. The way we're supposed to respect when SOME people get their panties in a twist, and disregard it in others. And how Budweiser's posturing about this commercial--a commercial which does not even show the incident in question, not even once--is so sickening to me, it makes me want to go out and purposely offend someone myself. Because fuck you if you can't take a joke. Fuck you if you don't know where the volume, mute, or better yet, channel button(s) is / are on your radio dial, television remote or computer screen. Fuck you if you expect advertising and entertainment to do your parenting for you, or to even consider children as part of its audience. Fuck you if you think you can dictate the morals of others. Especially mine.
So, without further ado, let me offend you, all of you:
Survivors of the above trauma are free to contact my attorney.