TITLE: It's Okay to Eat Fish Cause They Don't Have Any Feelings
DATE: 3/03/2005 02:22:00 PM
This has been all over the place today, but my personal experience with it came when my morning show talked about it. It was one of the few times I was glad that the host, Greg Hill, is a staunch Republican who has no problem whatsoever voicing his general distaste for namby-pamby megaliberal PCers like PETA. He and his cohosts rejoiced in the utter irony of the fact that the huge, 100-year-old lobster named "Bubba", who had his death sentence commuted to life-in-zoo thanks to the heroic efforts of PETA, died because of the move from the lobster pound to the zoo.
Although I have done a little research and found that PETA didn't want him sent to the zoo, either. They wanted him released back into the wild. This from Karin Robertson, manager of the Fish Empathy Project:
"An aquarium is not an approximation of the freedom he's been able to experience. ... It really is just ridiculous to think that Bubba is better off being displayed as a sideshow freak."
Yes. Because lobsters have feelings. Lobsters can feel embarrassment. The lobster will wind up needing a therapist and perhaps medication.
Jesus Christ. This guy, Robert Wholey, agreed to donate the stupid lobster--which he could have made a pretty penny on--to a zoo just to placate these people, and it's still not good enough.
I repeat: it. is. a. lobster. It's one step up from a freakin' insect. I have eaten lobsters whole. I have taken them apart. They do not have brains. They barely have hearts. There are a great many people in the world who are starving, who are leading far more miserable lives than a lobster in a freakin' aquarium, and it makes me mad that all this time, money and energy is spent on saving a goddamned crustacean when there are people all over the world screaming for help.
But out of anger often comes the best humor--and the most classic thing about my morning show today was when, after discussing the simple ridiculousness of a political group campaigning and advocating so strenuously for a fucking lobster Hillman finally dropped the punch line that the stupid thing died...and a solemn rendition of "Taps" began in the background.
I nearly drove off the road laughing.
Yes, yes. I know. I'm a cruel and horrible person...for believing in a thing called the food chain.